Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding is hard — a sentiment shared by so many moms at some point in their journeys. But what's so hard about it?
When I was expecting, I remember talking to my friends who were mothers already and asking them about it. What had their experiences been like? What could I expect? And sure, every experience is different, but was there any wisdom that could be passed forward?
The answers I got focused on some unique challenges I'd not had awareness of: low supply, shallow latch, sleepy babies. Alright, so that was all useful, and from there I went to my lactation consultant and lay my worries down before her. Going into my induction, I had gotten myself to the point of having faith in my body and accepting that things were probably going to go sideways in some manner.
After my little girl was born, we struggled with latching. Not surprising, given how little she was. We managed to get things figured out for one side, but pretty quickly I developed a blister in the other side. Cue my lactation consultant to save the day!
From here you might be thinking that things would be sunshine and roses -- the latch issue got resolved, baby did not have tongue or lip tie, supply was there, and baby was definitely producing enough wet diapers.
But things were hard, really hard. Suddenly I was trapped. I was reduced to a milk production plant, sequestered to the couch, baby latched to me or asleep on my chest.
The thing about newborns, which I knew, was how tiny their stomachs are. The size of a cherry. That's how small. And what that means is that this little tummy needs frequent feedings to stay full.
2 hours: the time we had for 1 of baby's eat-diaper-sleep cycles due to her jaundice. That's plenty of time, you may think. But the thing is, baby is not an efficient eater yet. It may take half an hour or more to get full, and that's outside of the snoozing on and off that invariably happens. I get it, baby is comforted by nursing, and sleep is needed for all that growing and processing to happen. But then you're left with just over an hour for a diaper change and maybe some solid snoozing.
Yes, it has happened. You are trapped now. And as the parent who is able to breastfeed, you are taking the brunt of it. You are the one with the baby attached to you, you are the one baby will most likely fall asleep on.
This is where acceptance will serve you best. Don't think about the laundry, don't think about the dishes.
I urge all new mothers to stop for a moment, take a deep breath, and shift their focus. The laundry doesn't matter. The dishes don't matter. Washing your hair doesn't matter. You are doing exactly what you need to be doing. It will get better, and you are doing an amazing job.
And if you're going absolutely mad, there's always formula.
